Breaking
by Morralls
Summary: Nate can't count the amount of times that he's lied for his father. So one day, he tells the truth.


He had grown up hating the cops. They had always been in the wrong place at the wrong time, bothering his dad. As a boy, they had asked him so many questions, and he hadn't known what to say. He wouldn't have known without his Dad, giving him the answers behind the policemen's backs. They had scared him.

Now, they didn't scare him. He was sixteen, and once again, he sat there at his kitchen table, his father standing behind the police.

"Was your father at home on the Friday two weeks ago, Nathan?"

Nate glanced at his father, who gave him a subtle nod. He could hear his Dad in his head, the words still clear, even though he had been just a child. _If I nod, Nathan, say yes. Can you do that for your Daddy? _

He could remember being a boy, telling his Dad enthusiastically that he could. He knew he was supposed to say yes. That was how it had always been. And Nathan Ford had talked to the cops plenty of times.

He had lied to them plenty of times. He wondered if he could do it again. He looked at his father long enough that the cops turned to look at him. Jimmy Ford looked calm and smooth, not doing anything wrong. They turned suspiciously back to Nate. "Well, son?"

"Don't call me that. I'm not your son." Nate said coldly. He could see his father's proud smile and it made him sick.

"Alright, Nathan, I'm sorry." The man said quietly. "But can you answer the question?"

"Yes."

"Yes he was here?"

"No. Yes I can answer your question." Nate snapped.

"Will you?"

Nate looked away from his father, unable to hold the man's eyes. "No."

"No? Son- Nathan, your father is under investigation, and-"

"No! No, he wasn't home!"

"Nathan!" His mother was appalled.

"He wasn't?"

"He was for part of the night, but he left around one in the morning. He didn't get home until four thirty."

"Nate, son, don't lie to them. You were asleep."

"I woke up when you left. You weren't in the house. And then I stayed up, waiting until you got home." Nate replied, raising his eyes to glare at his father.

"And do you have any idea what he was doing, Nathan?"

"I don't know! Probably running numbers like he always does, or... stealing a car or something." Nate replied, staring at his hands on the table.

"Son, you can't really believe that I'd-"

"Dad, you're not going to talk me into lying to the cops anymore." Nate snapped. "You lost that right when you almost let me go down for your last heist."

The policemen stood up. "I think we have enough for now. Thank you, Nathan, for your help."

"Yeah... whatever." Nate stood up and pulled his keys out of his pocket, leaving, not wanting to see them arrest his father. He turned the music all the way up and drove aimlessly, out for hours until night fell. His mother was waiting for him when he got home.

"Nathan, I can't believe you did that. Your father-"

"Mom, you'd rather stay blind and pretend that we're a big happy family then come to terms with the fact that your husband is a criminal. Well I'm _sick _of it!" Nate screamed. "He got what he deserved, and since no one else is bold enough to turn him in, I had to!"

"We're going to get him a lawyer, Nathan, and we're going to get him out."

"Not if I testify." Nate disagreed. "And I will."

"No you _won't_, Nathan. I won't let you sit there and tell those horrible lies about your father."

"Are you really that stupid? That you can't see that he's been lying to you? You really believe that he's a CEO for a car dealership? You want to know where he works, Mom? You really want to know where his _office_ is? The corner seat at John McRory's. And his Friday night meetings? He plays _poker_. Every Friday night. He works with the O'Hares, not the police, Mom. Are you so dense that you missed him feeding me answers over their shoulders? He's been doing it since I was _eight_."

She looked stunned. "Nate, he's your father."

"He's a criminal!" Nate screamed. "And now he's in jail _where he belongs!_"

"Nathan, he is _not_!"

"Do you remember when he got his 'promotion' the week after First Boston Independent Bank was robbed?" Nate snarled. "I was there, Mom. I was _there_. I was waiting in the car. I saw him do it." He sighed. "I'm not a kid anymore, and I can't lie for him anymore."

"He loves us, Nate, and he's always been good to us. And what about your sister? She's just a baby. She doesn't understand."

"Don't you _dare_ bring Carolyn into this!" Nate growled. "I didn't make Dad decide to run numbers, so don't blame me that he finally got caught!"

She pinched the bridge of her nose. "I don't want to talk about this any longer, Nathan. I really don't."

"Fine." Nate replied stiffly. He walked out, leaving his mother alone.

When his mother brought his sister with her to visit his father, Nate told her with absolutely no secrecy that he didn't want to go. He didn't want to see his father again.

Life went on for Nate, as usual, just without his father around.

No. That was a lie. He knew that his father deserved it, but not having him around, seeing how it hurt his six year old sister, and the way his mother ignored him. It was killing him. His mother and sister were at the prison, just visiting him, and Nate sat at the kitchen table. "I... I know it's been a while, but... I need help. I need answers." He murmured. "I don't know what to do. I didn't want to turn him in. You know I didn't. But... but I had to. What he was doing, it was wrong, wasn't it? It wasn't right, and... and..." He sighed. "I had to. Please, give me a sign. Let me know that I did the right thing."

He was silent for several minutes before the usual bitterness settled over him. "And what if it wasn't? Does anyone care?" He knew the answer to that. He slammed his hands onto the table. "_Is anybody there! Dammit, ANSWER ME!_"

His mother came home that night to find all of the bottles of Nate's father's alcohol shattered, Nate's hands bloody, shaking as he cried.

"Nate..." She sent Carolyn up to her room and grabbed her son's wrist, gently pulling him to his feet. "Come on, baby. Let's get you cleaned up, hm?"

Nate looked at his feet. "I made a mess. Sorry Mom. I'll clean it up." He said dully.

"Oh honey... don't you worry about that. You just get cleaned up and get some sleep, okay? I know you haven't been sleeping well."

When Nate went to see his father, he went alone. "Nathan..."

"You deserve it." Nate said, looking as though he was trying to convince himself as much as his father.

"My own son betraying me?"

"You know... I was never allowed to lie to you, but lying _for_ you... well that was perfectly okay."

His father raised an eyebrow. "Touche." He sighed. "Well, since you got me in here, I guess that means you're the man of the house now. It's not easy, Nathan. I don't know if you have what it takes."

"I do, and I _will_ do it. I'll take better care of Carolyn than you ever did to me." Nate retorted.

"I took perfectly good care of you and you know it." Jimmy Ford retorted. "Don't try to pull that. You can't lie to a liar, Nathan. You know that."

"Uh huh. Another one of your useless lessons." Nate said, hoping that he could call his father's bluff, knowing that his father was the kind of person who would acknowledge it if he did it. In some way, he knew that he was still hoping for his dad's approval.

"Your mother tells me you're having a harder time than you pretend." His father nodded to the bandages covering Nate's cut up hands.

"Yeah, well part of me feels guilty for putting you in jail. Deserve it or not, you _are_ my father." Nate growled.

Jimmy smiled. "That's my boy."

"I've gotta go." Nate stood up abruptly and left, holding back tears. He got into his car and dropped his head against the steering wheel, shaking.

_God help me. I've come undone_.


End file.
